As your family grows, responsibility and generally the things that needs getting done around the household increases. You and you partner will have to manage work, household chores, school runs, diaper changes and a lot more things. Balancing relationships is a very important matter. Too often, especially in the Sri Lankan context, it is very easy to concentrate on daily routine and put your relationship with your partner ‘on-hold’ till your children are bigger and can manage on their own. However, it is very important that as a couple you maintain your love, work on your relationship and keep the intimacy alive. Your relationship with your partner will have a big impact on your children and how they see you behaving with each other will be how they will treat people and finally how they interact with their partner.
It’s not just for the sake of your children that you need to keep the love alive. You once fell in love and I don’t have to remind you about how that felt like, but for the sake of you both and for your family to be happy always, you two need to constantly be in love and keep the love alive.
Juggling all this is difficult, no one can deny that. A day of housework and you might not feel up to doing anything special for your partner, especially if your kids are younger, but make the special effort, because you and your partner are one entity and must remain so.
Here are few tips to help your family be happy and help you keep the love alive:
Yes I know you are of course married, but once in a way travel back in time to your first few days of courtship. Send a text to simply say I love you or dedicate a song on the radio. Yes old school is sometimes fun!
Once in a while go on a date. A dinner out, alone, the two of you. Chat a bit and spend some quality time alone as a couple.
It’s not often that we can make the time to go out. That coupled with financial reasons shouldn’t be a limitation on how much of time you spend with one another. Do something weekly together at home. Something simple like watching a movie at home or even a foot massage.
Remember the hugs. Physical contact is great and remember that your physical intimacy should not be limited to bed room activities. Hug often, kiss before you leave the house, say I love you whenever you can.
Often couples grow apart as their families grow larger and tend to deal with their troubles and stress individually. This causes partners to drift away. So remember to communicate constantly and support each other when you feel that your partner maybe stressed.
This is particularly important if you are co-sleeping with your child. Change the sleeping arrangements every once in a way so that you can hug each other at night.
Dometimes as a couple the best thing you can do is to let your partner spend some time with their friends. A day off from tucking in your kids to sleep or a diaper change in the night can make your partner very grateful.
This might seem obvious but with financial strains, deadlines and lots of house hold chores that need attending, it is easier to switch off at night and want to sleep on. Most couples find their sex life waning off but working on your intimacy is an important part of keeping the love alive.
Remember that all good relationships need working on. The worst thing that you can do as your family grows is to take your partner for granted. A happy family with happy children is one where there is obvious love between the parents.